Cheers!

I don't have too much to write about today so let's have some fun and write about more random shit!

I once stole a bartenders bottle opener then went into the bathroom and took a picture of it in my hand while holding my penis.  I then sent her the picture.

I may have peed in a fireplace?!

I keep an easy button on my night stand right beside my degree that has never been framed.

I enjoy being in the nude.

I'm kind of hoping butt implants blow up like boob implants did.

I prefer brunettes but seem to get stuck on blondes.

I love accents and tans.

The batteries in my easy button are dead.  haha

The white house really isn't shit anymore compared to some houses.

Could Obama paint it and call it a different color house?

Why do kids still take karate lessons?  People carry guns.

How the hell did people kiss before tooth paste?  Morning breathe sucks

I actually love vegetables.

If I don't remember your name I always introduce someone else to you so you will say it.

Colombus day is bullshit.

And if Christmas is a celebration of some dude named Jesus Christ being born then why do we go out and spend money that we don't have on presents?  Hypocrits

Why not throw Thanksgiving in here too.  We celebrate native americans teaching white people how to grow food and survive before they were slaughtered?!  Ain't that a bitch, now pass the gravy.

Lots of people get less time for killing people than they do for selling drugs.

I learned in a cultural geography class 10 years ago that 1 out of every 6 people that have ever lived are alive today.

And on that note you don't think we could cure AIDS and Cancer?  A man walked on the moon 42 years ago.  Oh yeah thats right the world is over populated!  Oh yeah, if I'm correct about 70% of AIDS cases are in Africa.  Think the US gives a damn?  We are living longer and poor Africans are starving and dying.

I wish there was a real Ron Burgendy (typo?)

The government would give me more money for knocking a girl up at 16 and dropping out of school.  But i get a degree and have to pay for that shit.  I almost bitch slapped a grown man at food lion for paying for food with his food stamp card and then spending more money on alcohol and paying cash for that.  some people are shit!

I do wish death on some people and no I won't regret it if they die.  i would rather have a parade.  You think i'm an ass for that?  How did you feel when Bin Laden died?  Lots of hypocrits on my TV.  He was still a man.

Bet you didn't like that comment.  Try this then...would you die for your beliefs?  Bin Laden did.  I hate his guts and would've liked to torture him but he might not be too much different from preachers/priests/etc.

Why would someone become a clown?

As always feel free to comment or tell me to go to hell!  Have a good day, love ya mean it!!