I thought about giving my spill on Easter and how I really don't give a shit and then my mind started thinking about different things. Put this puzzle together...
I think about her. I have watched her sleep. The only woman that has ever been close to me. I know she reads this and may worry. She knows I'm not crazy. She knows I would give her my life if she needed it. I know you may think i'm crazy. Her friends probably tell her to stay away from me. She probably listens to them. She knows I am writing this with a few in me. They don't really know me. She/they have stuck their neck out for me. I have fucked that up. I know that there are few people that know me. I know this may seem like a journal online. I know who I love. I know that sadly if I don't love you then fuck you. I know my nieces and nephew smiles are gorgeous. I know they are too young to realize I let them down. I know I am a fucking machine. My lack of sleep and motive to work is going to kill me. I know that this may bother you but it doesn't bother me. I know I am not scared. I know some of you may think I am reaching out. I know you are wrong, I just told you I am a fucking machine! I know her friends really think I am bad for her after readinag that shit. I know some of you worry. I know I don't. I know I looked into those eyes and saw a future. I know that I was kidding myself. I know a family scares me. I know I am a selfish ass for writing this. I know that I am scared of kids. I know because I would have to put them first. I know that some of you reading this will think I need a hug or text. I know you are wrong. I know what I am doing. I know this shit is free for the world to see. I know I don't give a fuck. And I know that everyone has an opinion. I know that most of you wouldn't air your dirty laundry and then again I know none of you are me.
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