2011!!!

Where do I begin?  2011 you came in a lot better and a lot less violent than 2010.  We started off on the wrong foot but I thought the world of you, you had so much promise and so much appeal!

Do you remember our first month together and that night when I had too much to drink and got behind the wheel?  I barely remember it and damn it was stupid.  Thank God we did hurt ourselves or someone else.

Or how about Febuary?  You know where we once again spent Valentine's day at a bar hitting on random women?

And there is no way you could forget about my Birthday in March!  We brought in my last year of my 20's together.  Of course I had to hit on a bartender...

How about that old saying "April Showers Bring May Flowers?"  You're so damn sneaky 2011!  You could see my stress level rising in April.  It was like the calm before the storm, we both saw it coming.

May, we closed a business together and put a lot of people out of work.  We shed a lot of tears...

Then we went a little nuts together!  Drinks, drinks, and drinks in June and July!  I mean we didn't give a damn!  You're so crazy 2011!

During all the summer heat remember when we were rebounding and were walking miles to work together because of that DUI night in January!  You sure helped keep the pounds off, you must like me thin 2011!

Know way we can forget showing up to work with a severe hangover in October!  I mean let's be honest with ourselves 2011.  You and I both know and can admit that even though we were there, we had no business showing up like a shit show to work.

November and December?!  This is where we look in the mirror and do a lot of soul searching.

So this being our last day together I just want to say to you 2011 that you have been the best year of my life and I thank you and love you for it!  You think I'm kidding?  Let me explain,  yes you put me through enough stress to kill some people and handed me by far my worst financial year ever and again I thank you for it!

I take the blame for that DUI and learned to never do it again.  It also made me move and my roommate is one the greastest people I have ever met and never would've known that without that DUI.  I have been on the mat many times in my life 2011 and you were the first that ever made me question if I could get back up.  But guess what?!  My family and friends picked me up, when I doubted myself they didn't.  You brought me closer to my family than I have ever been.  Finally, late this year you introduced me to Jesus and I proudly say I am Christian now.  And I want to make it clear I'm not perfect and never will be but I am a better person.

So there it is, every good thing has to come to an end but I will never forget you 2011!

Children's Story

Once upon a time there was a man named Jamie.  Jamie lived with his dear friend Aleah.  Jamie was always fond of dogs but Aleah absolutley loved them.  She had a female dog named Emma and a smaller male dog named Sammy Pickles.  They all lived in a house together.  One day Aleah came home with a new puppy and named her UNO!

Uno was a very pretty dog but she used to be owned by some bad people (maybe football players). These people taught Uno to not play nice with other dogs.

One dark rainy day Jamie tried to get Emma and Sammy Pickles to go into another room so that Uno could come out and get some exercise.  Sammy Pickles was tired and decided he didn't want to leave the couch so he tried to bite Jamie on his hand.  Thankfully Sammy Pickles missed and Jamie didn't have to prove that all dogs do go to heaven. 

Jamie came up with a new plan he would just put Uno of her leash and walk her out of the house so she could play with her toys in the yard.  Jamie sprang into action!  He was home alone so the only thing Jamie was wearing were pajama pants.  No shirt, no socks, no shoes, not even underoos!  Jamie put pretty Uno on her leash and the two of them started making  their way through their home when Sammy Pickles made his second mistake of the day! Sammy Pickles decided he wanted to argue with Uno.  This was a bad idea!  Jamie knew that Uno was a very good at arguing and Jamie also knew if Aleah came home to two dogs instead of three that he would be homeless.

Jamie made another great decision and got Uno out the house as soon as possible.  Since Jamie was in a panic he closed the door behind him and soon realized that he locked him self out!  Jamie's keys and phone were on the coffee table.  This made Jamie sad!  He was outside in November almost completely naked with a puppy that doesn't play nice with other puppies.  But wait, there was one positive!  If Jamie or Uno needed water they were sure to have plenty since there were so many rain clouds in the sky! 

Jamie had another decision to make?!  He could walk to a phone but was worried that Mr. Police Offer may have a problem with his clothing (or lack of).  He also knew that if Aleah came home and unknowingly opened the door that Sammy Pickles was going to have a very bad if Uno got to her first.  Jamie decided he would stay in the yard and play with Uno.  While throwing the ball Jamie felt something on his foot!  He looked down and he was standing where Uno went to the bathroom the day before!  But there were no worries because it was raining hard enough to wash it off!

After 3.5 hours of playing with Uno Aleah was home and Jamie could go back inside!  When Aleah asked Jamie if he had any visitors he replied I sure did and her name was Karma!

The End

Pass the stuffing!

Sooo, tomorrow we get fat and give thanks!  Well, I might as well give thanks a day in advance...

Thanks to the Charlotte Observer!  My blog isn't that bad compared to your shitty articles.

Thanks to you Mr. President(s)!  It is because of you Mr. Clinton, Bush, and Obama that my debt isn't bad at all compared to the U.S.!  Don't believe me?  Ask Standard and Poors.

Thanks to you NBA!  I live in North Carolina and we don't really give a shit about you anyway.  College basketball is all that matters here!

Thanks to all those old women on that sorry ass show The View!  Tomorrow when I think I can't eat one more piece of pie I will think of you and force it down.

Thanks to some not all of the Penn State students for rioting!  You showed the rest us what a real gaggle of idiots look like!  Morons...

No thanks to the U.S. Justice system!  Why the hell is this perv Sandusky not dead or in jail?  Yeah, I know I'm beating a dead horse but seriously?!

Thanks to you turkeys!  You aren't even close to being as tasty as a chicken but you still get slaughtered this time of year so us men can fight over one of your legs!

Thanks to you 104.7 for starting your X-Mas music so early!  I mean I want to hear this shit all year, can you please play it on the 4th too?!

Thanks to P.E.T.A.!  I guess you weirdos just chalk Thanksgiving up as a loss every year.

Thanks to you pilgrims!  How do you get a holiday for killing the people who saved your arse?!  Oh yeah, you're European and killed people of color, that never happens.  Yeah, I said it!

Thanks to you Wal-Mart!  If I am feeling real poor I cheat on Target and come see you!

Thanks to you Bartender!  You make everybody more interesting and attractive...especially me!

Thanks to you China!  I love your food...that's all.


Seriously, thanks to all my friends and family for dealing w me and everything that comes along with that job!  I love you all and I truly am thankful!

How's the water?

I gave my blog/journal/craziness a break on purpose.  For those of you looking for something real random or a pissed off rant sorry I do not have anything for you today but we do need to catch up on a few things so let's go!

I spent a few months this year feel real sorry for myself.  I felt like I had really bad luck and I placed a lot of blame for how my life was and is on other people and situations.  I finally hit rock bottom and when I finally opened my eyes I realized that I am the luckiest person in the world.  Let me explain...

There are some events in life that I will never forget and watching my grandmothers face at my moms funeral is one of them.  I have never wrote about my mother or what happened to her and my stepfather but I have nothing left to hide.  Six years later and I still cry on a monthly basis when I am alone.  Some of my friends have never seen me upset then it happened.

A few months ago the day after I closed my restaurant I broke down and starting crying at a bar in the middle of the afternoon in front of about 10 of my friends.  I think everything finally came to a head and I lost it.  Of course I thought about money but that wasn't what upset me.  I had just put 10 people out of work some of those people are my friends who were there for me and watched me grow up.  I thought what if my mother was alive and saw me as a failure?  I thought how can my friends look at me the same?  I thought how can I face my family and all the people who believed in me?  Then a month or so ago I finally realized how damn lucky I was to be at that table crying.

When I walked away my frineds didn't laugh or make jokes they were concerned about me.  I should have wiped those tears away and took a look around.  I am lucky to have that many friends that care about me.  I am lucky to have had a mother and stepfather that loved me.  I am lucky to have loved people that much.  I am lucky to have a father, stepmother, brothers and sisters and the rest of my family and friends in my corner.  I am lucky to have owned a restaurant at 28.

So here is the verdict.  I am happier right now than I have ever been.  I still like money but I don't love it anymore.  I don't need to be flashly, I don't need a lot of women anymore.  I need to work on being a better son, brother, uncle, godfather, and friend.  I am not mad at anyone or anything anymore.  I wish everyone the best and I hope they are doing what really makes them happy.  With all that being said I do have to get one thing straight.

There are people who have doubted me in the past and that still doubt me.  When people didn't think I could work 50 hrs a week and get my degree I did it.  When I said I would own a restaurant I did it.  When I say I will be back I am doing it!  When I work out I think about you, when I am up at night I think about you, when I am tired at work I think about you.  So thank you very much, you are the fuel in my fire!!

So how is the water?  It is cold and I do go off the deep end a few months ago but I am pretty good swimmer!  Cheers I love you all!!

Top Ten!!

REASONS TO MANSCAPE

1. Very Simple...Hygeine
2. The 80's are long gone!  Even the "hair bands" are going bald.
3. You might be able to talk her into it on a day other than your birthday.
4. Do you like wool socks?  She doesn't either!
5. Buying new razors gives you another reason to go to the pharmacy.
6. Less chance of a zipper error.
7. You can justify that bottle of lotion that you use "for your skin."
8. Proves that you are smarter than a fifth grader.
9. Less friciton and more diction!
10. And finally...IT LOOKS BIGGER!

Been There and Done all That

A lot of my close friends are waiting for me to write some more crazy shit!  Not going to happen today but there are a few things I can blog about. 

As I have gotten older I have realized that I think differently than most, the only thing that bothers me is that I can't figure out why?!  I compare my thoughts to people looking through a glass.  They are distorted, blury and don't "look" normal at all.  I wish I could forgot things and not always think and process everything.  When I have conversations I am always looking the room over and trying to get information that I don't really need.  I do this shit in bars and restaurants so much that it is getting ridiculous.  I claim to be very intelligent but why did I realize what I want to do in life at 28 instead of 21?  Then again I learned a ton and made some friends on the way so maybe it was the right path.

I'm starting to ramble like I always do.  On another note I am feeling good lately.  I'm coming to gribs with my crazy ass brain and thoughts.  I have been thinking that I need to but a lot of things and people behind me.  I guess you have to let people go that you have cared about.  Hell, some people think I am a complete asshole and that I have a drinking problem and that I am heartless.  Well I can be the biggest asshole you ever want to meet and when i drink it is usually a problem and my heart is huge but I don't share it with many people.  While I am at it I am going to go ahead and throw myself under the bus.

I pride myself on being honest with my friends and for the most part in general.  So what I am about to write is probably a bad idea but fuck it.  I once had a girl ask me how many people have you slept with?  Normally I would say none of your damn business but this girl is different so I said "Don't ask me a question that you don't want to know the answer to."  That conversation ended quickly.  With that being said something happened again yesterday that pissed me off.  A guy that I know told a female that I know to stay away from me because I was bad news.  He is a damn pansy for saying that but I am going to end all this shit right now.  I have no clue how many women i have been with.  It is a lot and no it isn't cool and yes it has caused me problems.  Not physical or health problems (maybe a pulled muscle) if you're thiking that.  It has gave me a reputation that I don't want anymore.  If you are a female and you have a problem with that I understand, no biggie.

I am done for today, as always feel free to judge!  One last thing just to entertain.  If you go out in Southend you may want to ask me about any female you meet before you go there.  I probably know her middle name...

The Real Hard Rock

I enjoy being a nerd and I actually love learning random things about space and our universe.  So today I read that NASA discovered an asteroid two days ago that is going to pass within 8000 miles of Earth.  They said it is not going to hit us and that it is too small to do any damage anyway so don't freak out.  With that being said it made me think about a few things.

People pass away everyday and lots of people on this planet aren't going to see Monday.  I don't know if I am one of them but I damn sure hope not.  But something does scare the hell out of me about death.  It isn't the physical part or any pain that may come with it but the idea of having regrets before it happens.

What I am trying to say is I don't want to look back on my life without having accomplished a lot of things that are important to me.  I am not talking about some damn "bucket list" (even though that isn't a bad thing). 

I am talking about things like...

Letting the people who you care about know it

Not giving up on your dreams no matter what anyone else thinks

Not settling for someone who doesn't deserve you

If you do meet that someone let them no it and again to hell with what everyone else thinks

Trying to over come what keeps you up at night

Surrond yourself with the people and things that put a smile on your face.  And finally here is a quote that someone gave me and that I have shared before that kind of sums this up. 

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us, anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift."